Hope-filled Expectation
I do not say “goodbye” well. I never have.
I can remember, as a kid, that I would rather have just left some place than to hug my way around the family, or circles of friends, or deal with the long drawn-out recitations of the usual, “see you again soon!” or “take care”… if anything, I preferred the short and sweet.
Even as an adult, I tend to avoid such moments, though I have gotten better. Even so, some part of me cannot bear those moments of grief, the moments of parting, of saying goodbye – it’s a deep feeling of sadness, a loss.
Saying “goodbye” is a painful thing for me, and one that, if given the choice, I would choose to avoid… and I sometimes do… ducking out before the goodbyes begin, or hurrying my way through them, avoiding the pain.